My booziest friend helped me quit

Six months into sobriety and I'm regularly being told by my husband that my willpower is amazing and how proud of me his is. To be honest I think abstaining from drinking has little to do with willpower...it's simply a result of booze turning me into a creature from the deep, and I don't want to be that monster any more.

But something significant happened to me before I decided to call time on my disastrous relationship with alcohol, and that was one of my best and booziest friends, Sam, moving away. I've wanted to write about this experience for a while but whenever I put some thought into the subject I end up daydreaming about our fun times - always bolstered by booze and fags - and begin to wonder what it would be like to just do it again.

Some of the best memories I hold are attached to Sam and drinking. Late night raving in my living room to Haim, 2.00 p.m. sauvignon blanc sessions down our local. We lived within walking distance of each other and were/still are child free, so our (abundant) spare time revolved around spontaneous drinking, dirty all dayers and boozy couples' date nights.

Last March she surprised me with an amazing day out in London for my birthday, and I remember laughing hysterically at our first drink landing at 3.00 p.m. We thought we were so sophisticated having brunch and visiting a museum first before diving into beer. We then got on it and drank solidly until 1.00 a.m. - with neither of us remembering the 1hr 15m train journey home.

So when Sam announced that she and her hubby we're moving to Canada for two years in June 2018 I lost it. Well, not literally, but I sort of went into mourning. My best drinking bud is leaving me - How the hell am I going to cope? We often joked about how great our separation would be for our livers, but back then I didn't care. I relied heavily on Sam for the good times and I knew I'd be lost without her.

But roughly two weeks after she left town I had the hen do in Brighton which was the event that called time on my drinking, and without even realising, my quest for sobriety was suddenly fair game. When I mentioned to Rob I was going to 'take a break' from booze he immediately quipped 'well Sam leaving the country will be a massive help!' And he was right. I'm not sure if I would have taken quitting seriously if Sam was still in reach.

Thinking more about the whole situation, I don't think Sam will ever realise (unless she reads this which is unlikely as no one knows my blog exists!) how much her departure has helped/saved me. You see Sam and I were the same, we loved drinking, loved drunk smoking and because we had each other it was something we could do all the time. But because of this - and the love that we had for each others company - I don't think we ever realised just how much damage we were doing to our bodies.

And on top of Sam, and when she wasn't available, there were other friends I'd meet for boozy smokey fun times too -so the cycle, as always, was seemingly endless.

I'm not sure how different life would be now if Sam hadn't moved away. I do wonder about it often, and if my sober intentions would have been laughed at and thrown out months ago. The thing with Sam is that she would have hated my decision to go sober but would have supported me all the way. Maybe she would have joined me for a while? Actually no, stamina has never been her strong point. In truth... I don't think I would have even considered sobriety if Sam was still on tap.

So what about people who want to quit booze but their Sam equivalent isn't conveniently moving over 3,000 miles away? I can't say I have any recommendations, but what I do know is the time I spent away from doing the things I used to do has hugely helped my recovery. I'm not saying bin off your amazing friends and live as a hermit, but maybe if you've tried to give up alcohol and the same behaviour/people are your repeat reason for caving then maybe it's time to sit a few plays out.

I know everyone's journeys are different, but during the early days of my sobriety I felt an increased strength as the days and months amassed. It's like you accrue energy and determination with every new sober day banked. I still use an app called Nomo which is such a simple way to check in and count your days - I'd recommend it to anyone who, like me, responds well to continuous streaks and visual aids.

Just being able to see '193 days' sober is a huge incentive.

Sam knows I've given up booze, it isn't a secret, but like many of my friends and family I think she believes that it's just a phase I'm going through. We talk all the time, but every now and again she slips in a question about my non-drinking which I find increasingly funny. I know she's quietly freaking out.

About three weeks ago Rob and I booked our summer holiday and we've decided to road trip up the West Coast of America late-June and then fly to Canada for five nights to spend time with Sam and her other half. As a four we get on really well, so it's going to be an insanely fun trip that will conclude approximately six days before my one year sober anniversary.

Perhaps my final major test? Who knows. But I'm excited to spend time with Sam and for once remember everything we get up to.