Booze, I want a divorce.

So I've already posted a few early blogs but I'd like to say thanks for stopping by, chance or by choice. My name is Em but I'm blogging as 'Sober Symposium' for now. As I'm new to sobriety I'm taking every day as it comes and doing what feels comfortable (and remaining totally anonymous for now certainly does)! 

I'm on insta too @sobersymposium which is a prettier version of this blog no doubt!

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I'm on the path of (to?) sobriety at the overdue age of 31. Having endured too many hangovers, blackouts and face-melting embarrassing moments, I've decided to bin the gin and take a permanent break from booze. Today I'm on day 57. 

I live just outside of London with my wonderful husband of three years, and don't get me wrong they have been the happiest years of my life...but the darkest and most disappointing too. As my dependence on alcohol has grown my behaviour and personality is changing for the worse, and I'm worried that unless I separate myself from booze I may be facing an actual divorce in the not-too-distant future. 

I know this journey isn't going to be easy as I've been solidly drinking since I was 14, when getting hammered on four WKD Blues in the park on a Friday night was living. But now, as I write this sat at my dining room table with a raging headache and staring at a 2L bottle of sparkling water I know it needs to happen.  

As the days go on I'll update on my milestones, conquests and of course pitfalls - there will no doubt be many as I bimble my way through my new (and currently secret) marriage to sobriety. Yep, my nearest and dearest are yet to find out my real reasons for abstaining, however most just assume I'm pregnant which I was prepared for. Three years married, no kids and taking a 'break' from booze immediately equals raised eyebrows and 'bun-in-oven' whispers. I do want kids but I'm not quite ready for them yet. At the moment all that matters is making my new business a success which is a joke really as nothing has taken priority over wine since I can remember.   

I'll also be talking about previous experiences and my behaviour when drinking. I've never done this before but feel a comparison between then and now will help me to put my progress into perspective. Also I'm just going to talk about stuff as and when I feel like it. No agenda, just me. 

So here I go. Talking to you, the digital universe about my divorce from alcohol. Thank you in advance for being my therapy, and if anyone is in the same or similar situation I hope we can obliterate the booze demons together, and for good.